Lindsay English's Love Story August 29th, 2010

My story: I’ll try to get through the major details without taking too much of your time.

I’m almost 20, my dad has been a Pastor for all my life and even before. so its safe to say, I was raised in a solid Christian home. I was the kid in Sunday school who everyone looked at when the teacher asked a question… I was the pastor’s kid… I was supposed to know the answer. Most of the time I did. I could definitely talk the talk. It was the walk that tripped me up. Being a Christian for me was like being a blonde, or being a student, or being a Pastor’s kid… it was just another name, not a way of life.

In middle school and then into highschool I struggled with the all too common self esteem issues. Eventually my small nit-pickings turned into hatred towards myself & my life. I had a couple rough years in highschool… I idoled and obsessed over things and it all messed with my head and I entered into a time of depression. When I was a junior in highschool my mom encouraged me to audition for this traveling fine arts youth ministry. I agreed to it but not with the right mindset. I entered into the ministry alone, vulnurable, and certainly not eager to serve God. All it took was the first worship session to reveal to me that I needed God and I needed His “grace like rain to fall down on me”. That night I was broken, but a good kind of broken. Anywho, time went on, we learned our songs, our dances and our skits, and I was getting closer and closer to God. Not only that, but I was gaining confidence and I didn’t feel alone anymore. We were to leave on tour that summer for 2 weeks to different churches, some here in Michigan others as far south as Georgia. The day we were supposed to leave I got a call saying the tour was temporarily postponed. “Ok?”, I thought. Then, a day or 2 passed and tour was officially cancelled. Why? Sadly because the devil worked himself into the life of the director of the program (who altho married with 2 kids, had an inappropriate relationship with a student)… So not only was this ministry one of the most defining moments of my life thus far, it also ended up being one of the biggest heartaches, but it helped me grow in my relationship with God.

Now fast-forward through my senior year and my first year doing basics at a community college, to last summer.
It was june, and I found myself at a pretty low place filled with uncertainties and confusion. My family and I joined a large group of people from our Church and attended the Big Ticket Festival in Gaylord Michigan. Those 3 days turned out being exactly what I needed. It was one performer in particular that contributed to my growth significantly. Going into it I wasn’t too familiar with her music, I only knew a couple songs. I stood about 10 feet from the stage, she did her thing, and with every lyric that poured from her mouth and every word she spoke, it was as if she was specifically talking to me. As tears filled my eyes, I found myself in complete awe of God and how He uses people in the most shocking and incredible ways. Funny enough that performer was Miss. Love Revolution herself, Natalie Grant. I met her that day… well it was hardly “meeting” it was more like me unable to think clearly and only able to sputter out little sentences like “wow you have beautiful eyes, is that your real eye color“ and “you were seriously amazing“ …she did reply to my tired and repetitive compliments with a smile then she signed her name and that was the time I “met“ Natalie Grant. I ran through that moment over and over again in my head and wished she knew that what she did that day was not just another performance but she achieved what she set out to do for at LEAST one person in that audience, she made a significant impact. I bought her book that day and got home and read it immediately… I’m not a reader but I read that book as if I enjoyed reading, because this time I did! haha. After finishing that book I was inspired by Natalie‘s story and how it related to me, yet is completely different… so with this inspiration at hand I sat down with my sister at the piano and wrote a song called “So I Pray” … that was the first song my sister and I ever wrote… we now write songs frequently. =]
Now lets fast forward again, to a couple days ago when all the stress and fears I have that I’ve kept inside… busted out… After an emotional breakdown I went for a drive to this spot I like to go to where I write, think, and pray… sitting in my car, I wrote down these words: “I rely on everything else to bring me back to that place… that place where I always want to be, that place where I shine with passion and love and hope… The problem with relying on everything else is it eventually wars off and I’m back to trying to find my way again. If only I tried relying on the one I’m constantly looking to find… If only I just trusted that He’s always there… Instead of looking in every other direction, if only I just looked up… He’d be there.”
The second I completed that sentence I looked up only to see this visor clip I just recently bought from the Family Christian Store that had a verse on it… I had forgotten what verse was on it so I read it… it says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:6-5. Of all the verses in the bible that was the exact one I need to read at the time… that’s what I needed to hear from God… I wrote about being able to just trust God and I wrote that all I needed to do is look up… and there hangs that verse right above me. I broke down in tears in awe of God.
Through these years I’ve discovered my passion for change. My passion for ministry. My passion for a revolution… a love revolution. I want to impact, inspire & love people for the advancement of His Kingdom.

This fall I will start attending Cornerstone University (Christian college) as a transfer student. My heart is in ministry & I have God sized dreams… where I’ll end up, I don’t know… but I’ll continue to grow in my faith, I’ll continue to struggle at times too (everyone does), and I’ll continue to “… wanna look like love. look like, live like faith… I’ll wanna look like hope, look like live like grace.” — and being that those are Natalie Grant lyrics (Beauty Mark), I’ll continue to be a member of Team Natalie, constantly being inspired by her and supportive of her.
“Don’t do nothing. Do something. Because WE are the love revolution.”

-Lindsay
(twitter: itsjust_lindsay)