Louise's Love Story August 7th, 2010

Legend: Friend #1 = the one who emailed me
Friend #2 = is the other friend

In grade seven I was best friends with a girl. She emailed me one night, the email said that her stepfather had hit her mother and she was scared there would be another divorce. Well I was really worried for her but in the email she had asked me not to tell anyone, so I went back upstairs to my family and faked being happy. And it worked, for awhile. But then I started to loss it. I wasn’t eating right because I was so worried nor was I sleeping right. Eventually I decided that I had to tell my mother, I knew she won’t tell anyone else.
The next day at school I told my friend that I had told my mother and that my mom and I were the only ones that knew, and she said that was okay. Then, a few months later, she started spreading rumors to my other friend. Saying that I didn’t like Friend #2 and that I had told my whole family the secret and we had laughed at it and other things like that. These rumors left me friendless and at the time I had no idea what was going on. My so called best friend was now making my life miserable. I started to not eat properly again. Only eating supper most days so my family wouldn’t guess that something was up. Sleep was lacking too, I didn’t want to go to school, but I went anyways.
One day I was walking home from visiting a teacher at my old school and I saw a car coming on the opposite side of the street. For a moment I planned how I could kill myself using that car. I was about to take a step off the corner of the sidewalk but I found I couldn’t, something was holding me back. Now looking back I believe it was God.
One day at school we had just had gym and I was the first kid back in the class. The only other person in the room was my teacher. Friend #1 came in and I don’t exactly remember what happened but I ended up exploding at her. Telling her all she had made me feel and how I had been so desperate that I had wanted to kill myself.
A few days later the whole class was working on a project in groups and my teacher asked if I could come and help her ‘grab some stuff’. I said sure. As we were walking down the hallway she started asking me if I was alright, and other questions. She told me that we were going to talk to a councilor and that she had called my mother to make sure it was alright if we used the schools’ councilor.
In the councilor room I was asked more questions like, if it was true I had wanted to kill myself. I was in tears the whole time and my teacher who was sitting beside me would pat/sort of rub my leg and say that it was okay. After the meeting my teacher said that I could take a walk in the halls before coming into class if I wanted to, so I did.
In the end I found out that Friend #1 had been the one to tell my teacher about the suicidal thoughts. I also found out from my mother that she knew from the moment I first became friends with Friend #1 that it wouldn’t last.
Now I still keep in touch with my grade 7 teacher and she made me pinkie swear that I would tell her everything. She’s always proud and supportive of me. She believes in me more then I do and because of that I try to achieve more.
I think of her as an angel that God sent me in reply to the prayers that I had said to Him. The songs Our Hope Endures by Natalie Grant and Held always make me think of how God helped me out when I was started to even doubt Him.